quarta-feira, 14 de abril de 2010

The Pattern of her dress

It was a starless night in early July. The heat was spreading through the alleys like any other sneaking man around that town. I was laying on a dirty bed at some cheap hotel; outside my window, neon eyes were gazing my body. Their dim light showed me myself: nude and sweat, breathless and hopeless. She had just walked away, swinging my view on such a static night.
Just some moments before her absence, a conversation was going on. Sitting side to side we were like two generals plotting the next battle. I didn't knew she was fighting against me. As she was telling me about her wish of moving forward, about feelings deep in her heart, her past and her future, as she was telling me... I was drawing her outlines in my mind, paiting her eyes red and her heart blue. Pain-ting, pain.
I knew that there were suffering in her voice and that things weren't the way they're supposed to be when you cast the spell ''I love you''. - Although I did love her with all my soul, I just couldn't make things right. In fact those words were a curse for her; and from the moment I said it out loud, her life became all grey clouds. And there she was talking to me on that damn hotel, "reaching for the sun". As usual, I was not helping her, I was not there. I was lost in the pattern of her dress and in the small lines on her face, observing how beautiful she was on the sunset.
She crossed the room and stood by the window. She would see nothing outside, there was nothing to be seen there. Just a poor street, filthy and yellow. But inside the room our very souls were colourless; and that sight was too painful for her. Yes, we were painted in a colourless colour, sad but true. However, her body against the window... It was such a pleasant view, the red flowers on her dress, her honey hair shining gold in the sun light, her pale skin contrasting her garnet lips.
She glanced me once more, begging for a word of help, for a way out this trap we used to call ''love''. I had no words in my mind. I just looked back at her and smiled, moaning something she was not meant to understand. On that very moment my lady closed her eyes and took one more step. How could she go any further? The was no path ahead. Well, she walked towards infinity. I ran to the window, but the only thing I could see were melting flowers. And there she was, drowning in those flowers, sinking deep and away.

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